All that was missing was Heidi!

Well here I sit in Gimmelwald, Switzerland coming to grips with the reality that our European adventure is near the end.  After several weeks, many memories, lots of laughs and new experiences we spent our last full day with no travel hiking through the Swiss Alps - and oh the memories.  As we came down the mountains, amongst the green fields, clanging cow bells, herds of sheep and cattle it seemed that the only thing missing was Heidi.

Hard to expain the absolute beauty we have seen here in Switzerland the last few days.  This morning I sat outside our hotel, staring up at the grandeur of the mountains reading Psalm 121 being reminded of the truth that as we look to the mountains we remember that our help comes from God alone.  So tomorrow after hopefully swimming in a lake in the Alps, we'll drive to Frankfurt and board our plane on Sunday headed back for Winnipeg after nearly 4 weeks.



Reflecting on Philippians from the land of Cappucinos, Gelato, Pasta and Vineyards!

Well after an enjoyable walk through the old city of Salzburg, we found ourselves driving into Italy, the country we as a family were longing to see - and it did not disappoint.  We all had that sense that if felt a bit surreal as we found ourselves in Florence gazing at what must be the most incredible Cathedral I will ever find myself near!  And we almost had the joy of meeting friends from Winnipeg here, but we missed each other at the Dome.

Then the next day we found ourselves walking the romantic streets of Venice, strolling along the canals eating Gelato and sipping Lattes! 

What a thrill for us as a family to walk these streets that we are used to seeing in movies, but now walked along and just soaked in the beauty.  From there it was off to the Cinque Terre to enjoy the village of Corniglia, swim in the Mediterranean, and enjoy the views as we enjoyed the Italian Pasta.





One of the treats for us was also to enjoy the hospitality of a local Italian family in rural Italy, not far from Venice.  My family is still raving about the pasta they served us!

But in all of the beauty of these places, it has been a treat to hear my children still talk about and long for Ukraine, the place this journey all began serving God together with Shelter Plus, Morris and Nassau Street Church.  I have been thinking much of Philippians the last day as our children check their facebook accounts and message their new friends from Ukraine realizing the truth of the words that Paul writes in this book.  True fellowship and community does not simply come from hanging out together, but from laboring and struggling together for the sake of the gospel!  What a wonderful truth.



The two sides on reflecting upon Germany!

Sitting in Salzburg, Austria tonight reflecting on the past few days and the beauty of Germany.  What a contrast as we spent the first couple of days driving through the beautiful countryside (still marvelling at the reality that you can drive 165 down the Autobahn and have cars fly by you like you're standing still), gazing at the little villages, church steeples, the Bavarian Alps, and fairyland castles.  And then stopping to enjoy walking the cobblestone streets of old mideval cities, gazing at the beautiful flowers that adorn this land while staying in hotels that are over 600 years old.

Simply put it truly has been a dream to be travelling as a family together through the country of Germany taking in the sights and beauty and wonder of this country.

Then this afternoon we made the drive north of Munich to the village of Dachau to visit what remains of the Dachau concentration camp - a very sobering reminder of the other side of this country - a sobering reminder of sin in this world and the atrocities that occur as a result.  Not sure I can fully explain what it was like to walk through Dachau while trying to take in what actually happened in this place.  As we walked through the old barracks, what remains of the gas chambers and creamatorium, and the road that prisoners would have walked coming into this camp, we did not speak much as a family but rather tried to come to grips with what had actually occured on the very streets we were walking down.  Such a painful part in the history of this world. 

Not sure how one takes in what we experienced here this afternoon, other than to weep over our sinfulness and thank God that He sent His Son to save us in our enmity towards Him!

And now, we get set to walk around historic Salzburg tomorrow, and then drive to Italy!

What was meant for evil, God meant for good!

Well here I am waking up in beautiful Kiev, Ukraine this morning.  Spent the day yesterday walking around this beautiful city that is about 1500 years old - something that boggles the mind coming from a place like Canada.  Of course our tour had to include a stop by the Olympic Stadium, the sight of Euro 2012.

Feels so difficult this morning to put into words the experience of the last two weeks and our time spent with Shelter Plus and their summer camp ministry.  I could not help but think of Genesis and the story of Joseph during my time at camp.  When Joseph meets his brothers after all those years he says to them, this was all a part of God's plan.  What you meant for my harm was really God's plan to save many lives.  We found ourselves these past two weeks in a camp that was originally established by the former Soviet Union for the purpose of teaching and indoctrinating young people in the way of communism.

But what had been meant as a means and form of teaching young people that there is no God, was now used to give the teenagers (many of whom were from the city of Kryvyh Rih) a picture of hope of the God who loves them.  So it was an incredible time for us as a family these past two weeks to teach English, teach activities like football, street hockey, archery and Canadian cooking and have fun playing soccer with our new Ukrainian friends, all for the purpose of partnering with Shelter Plus in presenting the gospel to this country.  I don't know that we realized before we left how rich a time it would actually be. 

Rich with the friendships that were made, rich with seeing our children adapt to ministering in a camp that did not have many of the comforts we take for granted, rich with the renewed sense of the power of the gospel - that can actually bring different lands and cultures together for one common goal of sharing the love of Christ, and rich with seeing some of the teeangers who come from very hard backgrounds discovering a hope and purpose for their lives through Jesus Christ.

So as we leave this afternoon for Frankfurt to carry on our European adventure we do so with the richness of fond memories of two weeks in this wonderful country!  Yes and even in Kryvih Rih, Ukraine they know the jerseys to don!

From the land of my ancestry!

Well after 3 flights; an evening roaming around Kiev enjoying the sights and the wonderful food in the restaurant pictured above, and an overnight train ride the Nassau Street church group has landed in Kryviy Rih, Ukraine.  What a joy yesterday for Monica and I to witness our children riding a crowded subway in Kiev not understanding anything going on, eyes wide open at the scenes and sights on the streets as we roamed this city that is 1500 years old.  That alone was something for us to take in, considering we come from Winnipeg where history is something that took place 50 years ago.  Also, somewhat enjoyable to discover as we made our way here, that the village my grandparents lived in before coming to Canada years ago is only about 150 kilometers away from where we are enjoying this time of ministry.

And so our adventure has begun, meeting Juliy (pictured enjoying the perogies above with Nathan and Zach) who we will have the joy of ministering together with and learning from the next couple of weeks.



As I write this in the early morning here in Ukraine, I am still somewhat in awe that this land we saw via tv all of June as we enjoyed Euro Cup 2012, is now the land I am sitting in with my family and others from Nassau Street Church partnering together with a local ministry to share the gospel to a land that needs a picture of hope!!

Back to where it began!

Well the euphoria is growing in our house these days, as the excitement and anticipation grows as we prepare to head out with a group from our church and Morris, to Kryvyi Rih, Ukraine.  We'll be spending 2 weeks with this group, working in a camp through the ministry Shelter Plus, teaching English and helping to run activities - all a part of bringing hope through the gospel to a group of teens living in a country that often experiences deep hopelessness.

The excitement is so deep in our home that we even forgot who we were for one brief moment this week.  So much so that we even dropped the green and white to don the blue and gold for a brief moment to meet some of the Bombers as the Buck's BBQ chips were unveiled.

But as I sit here, only 3 days from departure there is a deep sene of gratitude to God for giving us this opportunity - gratitude in so many ways.  Though I've never been keenly aware of family roots and trees, it has donned on me how special it is to go back to the land where my Letkeman family started.  Back to the land described to my Dad by his parents as one of beauty, and richness and fertile soil - yet also a land that brought severe hardships and persecutions for them. 

Gratitude for giving Monica and I an opportunity to experience mission with our children in a foreign setting.  To be able to walk through the experiences of being a foreigner, the one who does not know what 's going on with them is one I richly look forward to.  And in that to be able to worship together, knowing that though we may not know all that is going on, and may not always be able to communicate perfectly with those we will be ministering with, it is the cross, the blood of Christ that makes us one.

To be able to witness our children using their gifts in this setting for the kingdom is something I know I will treasure, and will marvel at.  Then I look forward to watching their eyes and see them witness things and experiences for the first time - as we serve God and then take some time after to tour through His creation in a foreign country.

So I leave now to carry on the prep and packing and will hopefully (if internet connections allow) touch base soon from the country of Ukraine.

Thankful for the moments!!

Sometime ago I sat outside in the beauty of creation, reflecting upon Psalm 104 and the greatness of God.  A Psalm that is so rich in declaring who God is, how wonderful His creation is, and how greatly He is to be praised because of this.  As I meditated on this Psalm, I was challenged by reading the following words by Don Postema regarding this Psalm.  He writes: The psalmist's eyes and ears were really in love, discovering the world, penetrating beneath the surface and finding God.  He realized life as He lived it and was albe to celebrate it in thanksgiving and praise.  How much more breathtaking our lives could be if were deeply aware of the gifts of God that surround us and engage us.  If we were awake! 

Those words struck a chord with me as I longed to be awake, long to have a breathtaking life.  And I realized that perhaps I often miss this because I think it is found in something huge, something spectacular, something that is kind of out of my grasp.  So this month I have attempted to be awake, to simply see the gifts God has brought my way, and thus worship God more deeply.  To simply live in gratitude of being His child, and to worship Him in thankfulness.  So this month I found myself living in gratitude and thankfulness for the gift of my family, one of the gifts that tops my list when I think of the blessings in my life.

As Postema writes: A thankful life is a response to seeing life as a gift from God and realizing that our lives belong to God.  God is the Giver; we are the thanks-givers.  But to recognize the gifts and the Giver we need to be alert and awake; to have our eyes, ears, minds, and hearts open to what is going on around us.  We need to savor each moment as thought it were a bowl of homemade soup prepared by someone who loves us very much.  The Psalmist knew that he writes.

How sweet to spend the first few weeks of June, in the final prep for the Manitoba Marathon where Nathan and I ran the 10k together.  The days were so special as he would come home from school, and we'd set out for our run - running and talking about life and enjoying the warm spring air.  Though I probably enjoyed the early start of the run on Marathon Sunday more than he did, what a great way to start Father's Day.

Then, came the weeks towards the end of June when we celebrated Jenna's grad.  What a wonderful and reflective time that was.  To celebrate her accomplishments, to celebrate who she is and has become, to reflect on the fact that time is moving along as we now have a graduate that has her whole life ahead of her to explore the mysteries of God!  Standing next to her as a sinful, messed up man and yet so proud of her and excited for her gave me a small glimpse of God's love towards me.  If I as a sinful, human father can feel so proud of her, how does a perfect Heavenly Father lavish His affection on me.  What a thought hey!!

And then I followed that up with 3 days at Camp Arnes as a parent chaperone for Zach's year end class camp.  To go from the euphoria of grade 12's finishing high school to the pandomonium of soon to be junior high's celebrating their year end was a treat for me.  To be able to spend those days with Zach and his friends was special.
Oh and interspersed in all of this was golfing with my boys and my brother, sitting in the warmth of our garden with Monica just enjoying the days, visiting family in Saskatoon, and the joy of watching my boys persue their basketball interests.  And to top all of that, today I was out for breakfast with Monica as we celebrated 22 rich years of marriage!   Yes many moments to savor as a special bowl of homemade soup, given to me by God.  Yet I realize how so often all the anxiety of life and the things that can cause such worry in me, so richly choke out all of these moments, and I lose sight of the blessings and ultimately of God and the truth that today is the day He has made, so just sit back and be glad, and rejoice in it. 

So today I pray that I, that you, will be awake and alert to live this day in gratitude to God and the sweet moments He has given us to savor!!

So this past month, I have been savoring the moments like that bowl of soup.

On Practicing the Presence of God

As a family our dinner reading lately has consisted of going through the timeless work of Brother Lawrence entitled "the practice of the presence of God".  The other day we came upon the following paragraph: 'if I were a preacher, I would preach nothing but practicing the presence of God.  If I were to be responsible for guiding souls in the right direction, I would urge everyone to be aware of God's constant presence, if for no other reason than because His presence is a delight to our souls and spirits................I honestly cannot understand how people who claim to love the Lord can be content without practicing His presence.  My preference is to retire with Him to the deepest part of my soul as often as possible.  When I am with Him there, nothing frightens me, but the slightest diversion away from Him is painful to me'. 

Powerful words from one who practiced this presence in the humble position of working in the kitchen in the monastery.  Words that are over 300 years old and yet I beleive so powerful and rich for us living in today's culture.  A culture that today is wrought with such anxiety over so many things, most of them the things we cannot control but try so hard to and pour so much energy into.  A culture that is so attracted to the quick fix and the idea that change happens or should happen immediately.  A consumeristic church culture that so often thinks our spiritual life is no different than our exercise or study routines, somehow thinking there is a 10 step list to follow to a deeper walk with God.  And when the steps are not provided or fail we are off looking for the next list or the next solution.

Oh I wonder how much of our anxiety, our fears, our nervousness would disippate if we heeded the words of Brother Lawrence, being aware of God's constant presence in the midst of all we walk through in life, living with the same preference: to retire with Him to the deepest part of my soul as often as possible.  I guess the problem is that there is not an easy 10 step solution for sitting in the presence of God and delighting in the Father and the Son.  This journey is not quick, and is often not a quick fix.  It is also a journey due to our sinful souls we flee from so often.  Yet if we come to this point of delighting in this presence, we are again brought to the only place our souls will ever find peace.

Perhaps if we were not always in the search for something new, we would come back to words that are hundreds of years old, grasping the wisdom they contain.  I thank God, for the wise sages like Brother Lawrence who have gone before us, and have given us words that continue to remain so relevant for our lives today!!

Exploring the Depths of Congregationalism

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Well as I sit here a local McDonalds, staring out at another cool rainy morning, I find myself thinking back to the beautiful summer days where I jogged the grounds of Capitol Hill, and ventured up the steps to gaze at the awe inspiring statue of Abraham Lincoln.

It also brings me back to the 4 days I spent with Capitol Hill Baptist Church and the body there, reflecting on a question I have pondered much lately - what exactly does biblical congregationalism look like?  Seems that should not be a very difficult question, as for the past 16 years I have pastored in a church that seeks to be a congregational model.  Yet for a number of years I have pondered over this very question, what is a congregational church as laid out in the Scriptures, the very place our wisdom should and needs to come from.  So on one hand seems it should be an easy question to answer, however.......

I'm not sure the answer is so simple.  So to explore this issue more deeply, I spent the May long weekend in lovely Washington, DC; enjoying the sights of Capitol Hill, the Lincoln Monument, Nationals Park, and strolling through the halls of Library of Congress (feeling like I was in the scene of National Treasure).  Actually that was a very small part of what I did in Washington.  For the most part, I was immersed with asking myself the above question.  I had the opportunity to attend the 9 Marks Weekender, a seminar that operates in conjunction with Capitol Hill Baptist Church.  Actually I say seminar, but as one pastor I met from Ohio described it, it was more like a field trip on steroids.  The reason I describe it like this, is that this was not a seminar or conference where one went to simply sit and listen.  Rather we were invited into the life of this church for 4 days.

Along with about 80 other pastors, I was invited to join the life of this church and to observe life in their local body.  From attending their elders meeting, to sitting in on a congregational members meeting, to sitting in on a membership class, to the electives that they teach this church, to having Sunday dinner in the home of one of the pastors/elders from the church.  It was a rather overwhelming idea to be invited into their home so to speak and to observe church life with them, at the grass roots.  What I observed left me feeling like some of my questions started to be answered.  

 It was rather refreshing to sit in on a church that placed such a premium on the relationship between the body and the leaders.  As a church believing that they are the gospel made visible to the world around us, and therefore leadership, congregationalism and membership plays such a huge role in the life of this body.  And all this done with such a desire to follow Scripture's call for the church, believing that if the church is to display the glory of God and to make visible the gospel, than the Scriptures must be the guide for all that is carried out in her walls.  I was challenged to think deeply about such matters as eldership within the local church, the call to membership and the impact this has on a local body and why it might be so important and how then would this impact our meetings together?  I was challenged to ask what really is the priesthood of all believers and how does this impact our ministries and our care for each other?  What is the church to reflect to the world and how do the above questions really impact our evangelism and our witness?

Yes a rich weekend to ponder upon.  A weekend with a body seeking to be what the local church I'm involved in seeks to be, a local body making visible the wonderful truth of the gospel!!

Thinking Beyond Ourselves

As I sat in the quiet of the Rockies a couple of weeks ago, enjoying the views above, I found myself in thought and prayer about many things.  Found God taking me to many different places as I spent the week in quiet and solitude with Him.  One of those places was back to India and Bangladesh, to the cities and villages visited there, to churches like the one you see below, a gathering of believers meeting outside in a village in Eastern India.

This group of believers, this church numbering about 75-100 people is only two years old, meaning that each of these folks have come to know Christ within the last two years, out of an Animistic background.  Yet meeting with them, I was struck by their focus as a church, the focus really of all the church leaders that I found I had the privilege to spend time with.  One thing that struck me about the leaders I spent time with in India and Bangladesh was their commitment and their focus of seeing unreached peoples coming to know Christ.  The hours I spent with them in prayer as they poured out their hearts to God asking Him to save their state and their country.  As they spoke about future plans for the church, it was all about which village might God be calling them to next.  They existed to worship God and take that worship to people who have yet come to know this God.  It was the focus it appeared of all they did.  And this was being done in a context where persecution has existed, and people have died for their belief in Jesus.  They enter this knowing it may cost them their lives, and yet inspite of that, exists this belief that they exist to bring others to the glorious truth of Jesus Christ and what he has done for them.  It seemed a church that was soaked with the idea that they exist for what lies beyond their walls and their own comfort and needs being met.

As I sat in the beauty of God's creation, I found myself troubled as I think of the Western church these days, a church seeking to worship God in a consumeristic culture, seeking so often to have our own needs met, our own desires met, somehow thinking this is the purpose of the church.  And I am saddened many days realizing that our consumeristic mentality has crept into our view of the local church.  I am fully aware that one cannot guage everything on a few weeks, and we often tend to look at things through rose colored glasses.  I do not mean to, nor wish to do that, as I continue to reflect on my time in Asia.  However, one difference between the church in the West and the church I experienced in India was this very thing.  While they were asking how do we continue to spread the gospel?  How do we reach the unreached people in our country?  We are asking what will this church do for me?  Will it meet my needs?  Will I like how they do it?   Will there be something for everyone in my family?  I ponder sometimes if we have become somewhat overfed in the West, and thus we have forgotten why the bride of Christ exits - to worship God and to bring others into the worship of our great God.  Being a church that visibly displays the glory of God to the culture around it.

While the church I experienced in India was thinking evangelism reguarly, we struggle to think beyond ourselves, forgetting I believe, that our call is not simply about us, but rather to display God's reality to the world outside our four walls.  I'm not sure we should be asking questions like what will this church do for me, but rather, 'as this church worships the glorious truth of who God is, is it a church that has it's sole core and purpose, bringing the gospel to those who don't know Christ, as they worship this God'.

It is interesting to note that while in our consumeristic 'spiritual' culture much of our church growth is often a moving around of the body of Christ to other locals, a relocation so to speak.  While in Asia it appaers the church is growing and an incredible missions movement is rising up out of Eastern India and Bangladesh.  Should give us something to question and reflect upon!

Be Still and Know That I Am God

As I write this I am enjoying the view from the observation car of a VIA train, rolling over the prairies.  I find myself aboard this train, heading back from Kingsfold Retreat Center near Cochrane Alberta, on my way home from a week long Ignatian Silent Retreat.

What a rich week to sit in the quiet presence of God, in a tiny little chapel in the woods, in the majestic view of the Rocky Mountains, immersing myself in Scripture with the occasional foray into the writings of Nouwen, Peterson and Dostoyevsky.  In the gospels we see time and time again where Jesus would depart from the crowds, depart from the rigors of ministry, depart from the everyday life to go and sit in the presence of His Father in prayer.  Departing from the distractions of the phone, the internet, the news, the sports scores – these things we find so difficult to leave behind.  Doing this in quiet without speaking is such a rich experience.  Found myself as the week went along slipping into a very restful, peaceful place – a place where I found myself not needing nor wishing to speak any words – but rather listen to the voice of God.  Though words have much power and are used very constructively, often our words are merely trappings we get caught up in.

When one sits with a group of people in silence we are free from these trappings – free from finding our identity in what we tell people about ourselves; who we are, what we do, how big the church is that we pastor, free from espousing the supposed wisdom I think resides within my brain – the things we so often seek our identity in.  Rather we sit together in the presence of the one who has given us all of our identity through His Son’s work on the cross on our behalf, and there is such rest and peace in that place.  Such a peace in being able to again commit all things to a sovereign God, knowing that He is the one in control of things, freeing me up to 'be still and know that He is God'.  So as the week moved along, I found myself moving from the anxiety, nervousness and fear of being quiet and alone, to a place of soaking up the solitude and quiet, fearful of again uttering words, for fear of losing this delightful place with God.  Yet in that, realizing we come to a greater depth and a place of uttering words of greater significance, if they come from a place of quiet and solitude.

Not long before I ventured out on this week, Monica and I had been conversing on the fact that so often we speak far too many words, many of them are not needed and often times many of our words simply lead us into sin.  Arsenius once said “I have often repented of having spoken, but never of having remained silent”.  Though I have at times repented of having remained silent, I resonate with the words of Arsenius because I believe there is much truth in them.   Psalm 39:1 says I will keep my mouth from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth.  And Proverbs 10:19 states when words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.  And of course James 3 speaks of the incredible struggle of controlling out tongues.

Perhaps this is why Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time to be silent and a time to speak.  Understanding there is a time to be quiet, in the presence of our God.  Listening to the voice of God, enjoying communion with Him in quiet and solitude, in order that the words we speak come out of this place, so we are uttering words that have meaning and significance for the world around us.

So I thank God for the grace and gift of this time with Him this week, a week with the quiet among the Rockies, that will seem a long way off when I fly off to the noise of Washington DC this week, for the 9 Marks Weekender! 

Contemplating on Psalm 78

I find myself today sitting here in the town I grew up in – in the rhythm of rest and contemplation -in the place that shaped and molded me, and impacted so much of my life.  Taking a few days here with my parents, spending time with them, before heading out for my week of quiet and solitude.  As they grow older (as do I) I cannot help but think again of the foundation and question of many of my prayers on my sabbatical: ‘does anyone ever really enjoy life while they live it, every , every minute’.  Find myself wanting to be truly thankful and enjoy every minute we have together as we grow older, realizing we do not know how many more such moments we may have together.  And thus, enjoy and live every moment while we live it. 

Began the morning reading and thinking about Psalm 78, a Psalm that calls God’s people to remember God’s faithfulness, and all that He has brought them through – calling them to worship God in the midst of this, recalling how faithful He has been.

 Spent the early part of the morning having breakfast with my parents and their Saturday morning breakfast club at the local hotel.  Realized the passing of the years as I sat with these people – as I viewed their declining health and aging bodies, remembering the times of my growing up years and the impact these individuals had in my life as they were involved in the church I grew up in.  Then spent a chunk of the morning taking my morning jog – around the town and the places that were significant to me growing up.  Past the railway tracks and the trails we used to ride our dirt bikes on and the open patches of grass that were home to untold games of grass hockey (especially now as the playoffs are in full swing).  Past the cemetery where numerous of my relatives are buried, people who were so special to me as I grew up in this town.  Running past a cemetery is always a good place to reflect on our own immortality, and a time to ask the question if we are prepared to die – understanding that we only live well, when we know how to die well.

 The route took me past the schools I attended as a young boy, homes of my boyhood friends recalling  the  times we spent together.  Past the places of my first employment (working for our local town crew, and later a local gas station), and the ball diamonds, football, and soccer fields where I enjoyed these sports as a young boy.  Of course that included running by what remains of the arena that was used when I grew up – the arena of my greatest athletic joy – playing on a midget  team that won the provincial championships when I was in High School.  Brought a smile to my face thinking of that old dilapidated  building where probably 1,000 people from my town watched us win that game.   And close to some of these, the photography studio where Monica and I had our wedding pictures taken almost 22 years ago.

 Then I ran by the church I grew up in and recalled with such fondness the years growing up there as a young boy and the significance of that community in my life.  And though like God’s people have always wondered from Him at times, myself being no different, it was the early years in that faith community that shaped and molded my faith and taught me about the worship of God and His kindness in sending His Son to save us – that which is now the foundation of my life.

Oh, the memories as I ran by the little house where my Grandma grew up, recalling the many meals I ate in that tiny house, and the memories of me and my 30+ cousins running around that yard.  Took a turn down the street that I spent the first 12 years of my life, and recalled with fondness the friends that lived in each of those houses and the fun we had as young boys.  Recalling the untold hours we spent playing ‘cops & robbers’; kick the can and hours of road hockey games – games that could last so long I remembered the day I came home with frost bite on my feet because I just needed to stay out till the game was won.  And to think of the streets we drove down with trucks full of crab apples as young teens, engaging in crab apple wars (one of the popular activities for me and my friends growing up).  Oh those seem like distant memories in our culture of video games (which did not exist then) and our world of every game and sport being so highly organized.  And filled with that was recalling the pain and fear I encountered on our street, when a young girl was brutally murdered a few houses from where I lived when I was a 10 year old boy.

 It was hard to not to think of the many great times I had growing up in this town, along with recalling some of the stupid choices I made as a young boy – which caused a fair bit of gratitude this morning that God was faithful and I am still here in spite of all that, and thankful for the family and community that God allowed me to grow up in.

 So as I thought about Psalm 78, I was filled with my own recollections of God’s faithfulness to His covenant in my life.  As I look back and recalled all that God has brought me through in my almost 50 years of life, the times and events that have molded and shaped me – it was hard to not think of Psalm 78 and my own reflections of the wonder of the God we worship and His goodness in our lives.

Following the advice of Rabbi Heschel

Have found myself in the last couple of weeks, remembering the words of Rabbi Heschel who said that 'the one who works with his mind, sabbaths with his hands'.  Have been enjoying a rhythm of labor lately (you may recall I shared about the various rhythms I was hoping for my sabbath to entail), laboring in the confines of my bathroom - ripping apart, putting back together, painting, installing tile.  Have enjoyed the feeling of going to bed with a tired and sore body, and a rested and refreshed mind.  And as I've worked and listened to the ageless music of Keith Green, have found myself pondering many things - reflecting on my life, the church as I see it, the church I witnessed in India and Bangladesh (yes still trying to comprehend all of those thoughts), and so will simply over the next bit share some of my musings with you - in no particular order.  I might add as well, much of my reflecting these days is impacted by the words of Thomas A Kempis, William Law, Brother Lawrence - a few of the wise old sages I find myself reading in these days.

Monica and I had the chance to visit another church together the other day - very different than our usual place of worship.  Different in the sense that it was only about 15-20 people.  As we worshipped together I found myself struck by the simplicity and the quaintness of our time together.  In many ways it felt like a home Bible study group that was blessed to have their own building to worship in.  What struck me about this experience, was the tension such a setting has in the midst of our consumeristic culture and faith.  I thought about the fact that this church could not rely on all of its programs and ministries to feed people's faith.  In a church that small, with a lower budget, one cannot offer all of the stuff that appeals to our desire for more and more.  Yet I find myself asking and wondering if there is not much good in that.  When one does not have all the 'dressings' to feed one's faith, it really is left to you and God.  I wonder sometimes if all we have and do as a western church - has produced a people that hunger after God intensely, or has it left us relying on things to constantly feed our faith - and the reality is sometimes our faith becomes guaged by what we are doing and participating in, rather than daily, delighting in the simple truth that I am a messed up sinner who has been saved by the grace of God - and that is such good news that I should simply want to live to share this message with the world around me.

Was enjoyable to enter a place that at first glance I thought wow, there may not be much happening here, to realizing that they may be staged in a greater place to enjoy the absolute beauty of knowing Jesus and delighting in Him above all things.

Next time I write to you may be from the foothills of Alberta as I get set to head out for a week long, Ignatian silent retreat.  A week with just me and my thoughts in quiet - both exciting and very scary!!

Realizing life while we live it: every, every minute

Vincent Van Gogh once said that “I must grasp life at its depth’.  That statement brings me back to a number of years ago when Monica and I spent an evening out at MTC enjoying the play ‘Our Town’.  In this play one of the actors, a young woman by the name of Emily, asks a vital question for us to consider.  On reflecting upon life, and what she observes around her she asks “do any human beings ever realize life while they live it – every, every, minute?”  The combination of these 2 statements have been the foundation of my prayer life lately as I have spent time in quiet with God – asking myself ‘if I am grasping life at its depth?’ and ‘am I realizing life while I’m in the midst of living it – every, every minute?’.  Seems like such an easy thing to say and yet such a difficult concept to grasp. 

I am constantly struck by the life of Jesus.  A man who spent hours alone with His Father in the hills around the Sea of Galilee and then emerged to engage in every moment of life.  Strolling the roads and countryside of Palestine – stopping to heal people, stopping to teach the crowds of the life He had come to bring, stopping to attend dinner parties that no respectable rabbi would find himself at, stopping to see who had touched the edge of his garment for healing, stopping to enjoy an afternoon of fishing with his disciples, stopping to have the children come and sit on his lap, stopping long enough to observe nature and creation and the theology we learn from such observations.  Interesting to note that Jesus never viewed any of these as interruptions, but rather they were all opportunities to live every moment of life, grasp it at its depth and bring people into the reality that today, this moment was the day and moment that God had made – so rejoice and be glad in it.

I realize so often how life can be one of being ‘productive’ and the call to do something ‘very meaningful’ which I think sometimes takes us out of enjoying each moment in the presence of God.  And sometimes has us not being productive, not being very meaningful, not being very deep – because we are too busy to see what God has been doing around us.  Seems sabbatical is such a rich time to address some of these very issues.  In a world where we so often qualify ourselves by what we do, what we’ve done lately, what we’ve accomplished – sabbatical can strip some of that rather bare!

One of the guides I have used for my prayer time lately, Space For God, has been challenging again some of the ways in which I so often live.  How distracted I often get – distracted by the things I need to do, distracted by the things that are so important, distracted by all the things that call for my attention, distracted by the worries and concerns of people’s lives around me.  Many of them even very good things, but also things that can draw me away from the presence of God, draw me away from delighting in the presence of God, draw me away from realizing life in the presence of God – every, every minute.   In the book the author writes the following:

‘the world doesn’t really need more busy people, maybe not even more intelligent people.  It needs ‘deep people’, people who know that they need solitude if they are going to find out who they are; silence if their words are to mean anything; reflection, if their actions are to have any significance; contemplation, if they are to see the world as it really is; prayer, if they are going to be conscious of God, if they are to ‘know God and enjoy God forever’

So as I have spent time lately wrecking (and trying to fix stuff in my house); hanging out with my family; quietly enjoying the presence of God; resting my brain and body;  the above paragraph has been at the base of all of that – seeking to realize every minute of life while I live it.

Reflecting with Spurgeon

Taking a break from India and Bangladesh thoughts, I found myself reflecting and writing this week on the past number of years - the years really since I last had a sabbatical and what God has brought me through.  Times of darkness and oppression (the depression and cloud that hits occasionally), times of family pain, times of hardship in ministry and the occasional arrows that get flung and the pain that accompanies those times, times of discouragement and doubt as to my calling and the effectiveness of pastoring - all times that have brought some intense pain into my life.  And yet as I reflected and journalled this week - found myself thanking God for the journey He has brought me on and the place He has brought me to.  Not sure we ever invite pain, depression, heartache into our lives - but they are the thorns I believe that God uses to deepen us as people, and deepen our love for Him and our worship of Him.  Michael Card once said that any sincere worship of our God begins in the desert.  I don't always like that reality - but I know that reality to be so true.  And so I found myself thanking God this week for the thorns He has brought into my life (thorns I asked on more than one occasion to be removed), and yet thorns over the past number of years that have made me a stronger, deeper worshipper of our God!  Thankful that God has prepared me for this sabbatical as He has!

And as I reflected on these truths, I found myself listening to the life of CH Spurgeon, being reminded of the incredible hardships this man went through - pain that I can't even begin to relate to, and yet being reminded that so many people who teach us so much of the worship of God - are those that have gone through incredible valleys.  Spurgeon fought such depression and pain in his life - and yet thanked God for these 'gifts in his life' that drew him so deeply into the presence of God.  All pain that Spurgeon viewed as brought to him by God, for his betterment - to strengthen his preaching, his ministry, his worship of God.  And he viewed everything - the good and the bad - as brought to him by God.  The sovereignty of God was not a debate for Spurgeon, as John Piper says but a 'means for survival'.  You have to have an incredible depth to utter such words.

In fact as Spurgeon reflected on his life - the depression, the illnesses, the attacks -he said the following:

'It would be a  very sharp and trying experience to me, to think I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by His hand, that my trials were never measured out by Him, nor sent to me by His arrangement of their weight and quantity'

'every blackness over my soul was a cloud sent by the living God - God is the God over my depression'

'The greatest earthly blessing God can give to any of us is health - with the exception of sickness'

 I fear even putting in those words and thoughts for piously it may sound like I have achieved these same words - and I realize how dreadfully far I fall from fully believing the truth of these words.  But I pray that daily my life could attain some of that kind of depth.  I do fear the darkness and oppression will hit again and the journey will be so long and arduous and painful to again thank God for the thorns that He brings my way.  But for today I can sit in thankfulness realizing God's goodness in the valleys - and remember these words as the times will come again where I will fight to see God's sovereignty as  a means of survival!  Oh we worship an incredible God!!

On Men, Bangladesh & Passion!

Well as I sit in Starbucks, starting to collect my post trip thoughts, I'm realizing that one week ago I was sitting in northern Bangladesh,  sharing the story of Joseph amidst a group of pastors.  On a sidenote, as I write this I'm carrying on a conversation with a member of the 1989 Grey Cup Champion, Roughriders, talking about India, Bangladesh and the purpose of my visit there.  Follows a good sabbatical theme - simply seeing what God has in store for me, each moment of each day.  Not sure that I can collect all my thoughts together in one entry (you'd quit reading long before it was all done), so over the next number of weeks, maybe months, I'll simply jot down thoughts and reflections as they come to my mind.

Just over a month ago, I attended the Desiring God Pastors conference, and if you have read previous blog entries you know that I reflected upon the state of males in the culture and church today, with the thought of being men who would give our lives to something of eternal significance!  It was at the pastors conference, I was faced with the reality (both from christian & secular writers) that men are beginning to disengage from life, marriage, family, leadership, church, education etc.  In so many ways, men are checking out and it's having an impact on our culture, our families, our churches.  I find I fight that battle myself.  On one hand wanting to be a man that fights for my family, fights for the church, takes those wounds and scars for the sake of the gospel - thus finding pastoring and fatherhood so inspiring.  On the other hand, realizing how easy it would be to entertain the idea of checking out and shirking the responsibility that God has laid on me (perhaps more thoughts will arise on that very battle that ensues!!)

One of the alarming stats I was confronted with (though not a new one, but simply hoping it could not really be true) is that 50% of men between the ages of 18-34 play 3 hours of video games a day.  From what I understand in some denominations, is that churches are having a difficult time finding pastors, as young men are not entering the ministry, and many are avoiding leadership within the church.  I find myself, based upon some reflecting from the conference, asking is this due to the nature of our churches?  Are we possibly targeting the wrong crowd, the wrong demographic?  Could it be that some of the programs and the ministries that we believe are so vital to a healthy church, are missing the mark slightly?  Could this be why some of our young men are dropping out of church, not taking on the mantle of leadership within our churches, finding something else to pursue when they hit the ages of 21-22?  Are they looking for something worth battling for and fighting for, and trying to find it our midst, but struggling to do so? 
I raise these questions because they have been plaguing me since I heard some of the words and alarming realities in Minneapolis.  Then last week as I sat in Bangladesh, with many very young men, who are entering into tough fields of ministry I asked myself - why are they willing to do this?  Some of these guys are going to live in places that have no Christian witness, no church, no biblical fellowship period.  And they are moving there for the purpose of seeing God's church grow as they seek to share the gospel.  For some of these young men it will come with some opposition, perhaps violence (I sat by the memorial of a young man martyred for sharing his faith).  They know it may be sometime before they have regular fellowship as they seek to see the church planted and grow.  Yet they are doing this with an incredible joy and the delight and warmth in their spirits is so encouraging, and I felt a shame over my attitude and approach to ministry and life at times.

Found myself asking as I spent time in the presence of these young men, after hearing these words in Minneapolis - could it be that they have found a far more inspiring challenge than achieving a certian level in a game?  They have entered into a real life battle that will require their all, may take their life or much of their comfort, and they've entered it with a zealousness that spoke and deeply challenged me.




On a sidenote, next time we think we are hard done by in life in some way, or that we need more books, or our schools should be better equipped.  The above picture is the library of a seminary that I visited in India!

From high above the Atlantic

Well the technology that is here that was not available the last time I traveled to India and Bangladesh.  Though I wrote the last 2 posts at different times, I just finally got them posted on the blog - from a jet above the Atlantic heading from Frankfurt to Toronto, where I could finally get some internet connection!  Not much to add on this blog - what does one say sitting in a jet staring at the seat in front of you, other than as I sit here in my little space, with my computer shoved into my stomach and chest while I'm hunched over it trying to type this - I sure am glad I'm not 6'5"!!

The End of the Road!

Well here I sit in the Kolkata airport awaiting a flight in the middle of the night that will take me to Frankfurt and onwards to Winnipeg.  Oh Kolkata, the City of Joy!  I’m not sure there is a more fascinating city on the face of the planet, as I find myself marveling at the streets on every corner I turn down, struggling to understand how does one explain this city to those who have never been there.

And I don’t know how to begin to explain the myriad of emotions that have accompanied my trip back to this fascinating land.  And as I write this I think I must be quite tired as it’s been quite an intense, hectic few weeks.  I say tired because as I boarded the plane in Dhaka this afternoon, before we were even off the ground, from a few rows back came some of the loudest, intense snoring I had heard in a long time.  It just went on and on and I just couldn’t stop laughing.  The poor stewardess was trying to give the safety routine before takeoff and she was fighting back a laugh as she was shouting over the sounds of snoring.  And I just couldn’t stop laughing – so yes I was thinking, man I must be tired.  Sure hope the guys not on my overnight flight to Frankfurt!

But yes the emotions – what I have all encountered in the last few weeks – how do I capture it in a few short thoughts?  I have sat with the persecuted church (the very ones we read about in The Voice of the Martyrs), I’ve sat in villages where the name of Jesus has never been heard, I’ve shared with individuals who are so new to the faith from such different backgrounds, that they know virtually nothing of Scripture and who Jesus is.  I have received incredibly humbling hospitality.  I have stared at a memorial to a young man martyred for proclaiming the gospel, I have seen absolute joy and delight shine from the eyes of those who the world would say have nothing, but who have been chosen to proclaim the wisdom the world sees as foolishness.  And in spite of some intense opposition are doing so with a joy that is so beautiful and refreshing.  I have sat with those who have such a passion for the gospel and the lost that I have felt rather weak in my own proclamation of truth.  I have shared close fellowship with these individuals realizing a fresh the beauty of the body of Christ – those from every tongue, tribe, language and nation – made as one through the cross.

 

I have walked some of the most fascinating streets on God’s planet, eaten some of the tastiest food on the planet, walked and driven amongst  some of the most wonderful creation.  Time and time again as I’ve just taken in the sights, sounds and smell of the city streets here, I have reflected on how quiet and uneventful Winnipeg and my own street will appear upon returning.  

God has been kind enough to take me to places that were so special to me 22 years ago.  This week I was in northern Bangladesh – very close to an area that 26 years ago I walked through the rice fields with my backpack on my way out of Bangladesh headed for India.  He has taken me to the Howrah train station  and across the Howrah bridge – a bridge I walked across with such fondness 26 years ago (the place of City of Joy for those of you familiar with that book).  Simply walking through the streets of Kolkata again, sipping a cold Limca (a local soft drink) from one of the little street vendors has been a delight, as was the evening we stopped outside at an outdoor truck stop drinking chai and indulging in the local deep fried snacks, taking in the warmth of the evening.

 

God has been kind enough to bring me back and allow me to meet some of the church in the very countries that played such a huge role in my own discipleship.  All of this reminding me that God has been so faithful over the past 26 years.  It was here that He encountered me and revealed His truth to me so clearly – and in His kindness He brought me back – reminding me that God is so faithful and has proved that over and over again in all those years.

Seems I could probably write for a long time on some of these thoughts but I wish to not bore you, plus a plane to Frankfurt is waiting.  But if you are interested do stay tuned, as I’m sure many more thoughts will continue to emerge as I come back to Winnipeg and carry on my journal – probably from a Starbucks.  That is one thing I sure do look forward to – a huge cup of that good, bold coffee!!        

On Drivers & Bangladesh!

As a young man, maybe a bit brash and ignorant, I remember driving the roads of India and Bangladesh thinking – is there any rhyme or reason to how they drive – and the driving here is out of control.  As a much wiser man now, after driving in these countries for the past few weeks, I am marveling at how well these guys drive.  I have been driven around by a couple of guys that has had me in awe of their driving abilities.  It is no small feat to maneuver a vehicle through these streets with the endless amount of: vehicles, rickshaws (200,000-300,000 in Dhaka alone), bicycles and motorcycles, cows, goats, dogs, people (1.2 billion in India & 165 million in Bangladesh) and not have an accident.  Not sure I will ever be able to explain what it is like to be on these roads amidst this kind of traffic and crowds, but yesterday I was struck by a thought.  I know that driving in severe snowstorms can be a bit intense, but I’m not sure it matches the intensity needed to navigate these roads on a regular basis.

 What an absolute joy it has been to spend the last number of days in the beautiful countryside of northern Bangladesh.  Walking amongst the green of the rice fields, the crops of corn, banana plantations, mango trees all while having buses fly by me that are not only full on the inside, but have the rooftop packed as well (oh that brings back memories of many such a ride I enjoyed as a young man in this part of the world!). 

Have been so blessed by the kindness of God this past week.  I was given the opportunity to spend 3 days with some of the most joyful, delightful people I’ve had the chance to encounter.  To be invited into their presence and so welcomed was a warmth to my heart.  We enjoyed rich times of worship together (they even had me up front dancing with the music team), we laughed with each other a lot (some of it at my own expense!).  The other day I was a part of some Bengali skit, speaking Bangla (which I know nothing about) dancing in front of a strange woman!!  I’ve had encouraging conversations hearing about the work of Jesus Christ, and I’ve been so reminded of the unifying work of Jesus Christ on the cross.  As we enjoyed communion together the other day, I was so struck and overwhelmed as I sat in this church’s presence, how we were one – though different color, speaking a different language, living in different parts of the world – the cross of Jesus Christ makes us brothers and sisters – truly speaking to the power of the gospel because only the cross can complete that work!!

Well the clock is ticking down on my time here, bringing about my return to Canada.  And I write that with a mixture of emotions.  My family knows how I long to be in their presence once again (it has been such a blessing to speak to them as often as I have, and Sunday night will be the sweetest reunion I will have ever experienced).  But along with so badly wanting to see my family, because of the wonderful hospitality I’ve experienced here, and the warmth of relationships in such a short time, it feels somewhat like I’m saying goodbye to friends – another testimony to the power of the gospel!!