Reflecting with Spurgeon

Taking a break from India and Bangladesh thoughts, I found myself reflecting and writing this week on the past number of years - the years really since I last had a sabbatical and what God has brought me through.  Times of darkness and oppression (the depression and cloud that hits occasionally), times of family pain, times of hardship in ministry and the occasional arrows that get flung and the pain that accompanies those times, times of discouragement and doubt as to my calling and the effectiveness of pastoring - all times that have brought some intense pain into my life.  And yet as I reflected and journalled this week - found myself thanking God for the journey He has brought me on and the place He has brought me to.  Not sure we ever invite pain, depression, heartache into our lives - but they are the thorns I believe that God uses to deepen us as people, and deepen our love for Him and our worship of Him.  Michael Card once said that any sincere worship of our God begins in the desert.  I don't always like that reality - but I know that reality to be so true.  And so I found myself thanking God this week for the thorns He has brought into my life (thorns I asked on more than one occasion to be removed), and yet thorns over the past number of years that have made me a stronger, deeper worshipper of our God!  Thankful that God has prepared me for this sabbatical as He has!

And as I reflected on these truths, I found myself listening to the life of CH Spurgeon, being reminded of the incredible hardships this man went through - pain that I can't even begin to relate to, and yet being reminded that so many people who teach us so much of the worship of God - are those that have gone through incredible valleys.  Spurgeon fought such depression and pain in his life - and yet thanked God for these 'gifts in his life' that drew him so deeply into the presence of God.  All pain that Spurgeon viewed as brought to him by God, for his betterment - to strengthen his preaching, his ministry, his worship of God.  And he viewed everything - the good and the bad - as brought to him by God.  The sovereignty of God was not a debate for Spurgeon, as John Piper says but a 'means for survival'.  You have to have an incredible depth to utter such words.

In fact as Spurgeon reflected on his life - the depression, the illnesses, the attacks -he said the following:

'It would be a  very sharp and trying experience to me, to think I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by His hand, that my trials were never measured out by Him, nor sent to me by His arrangement of their weight and quantity'

'every blackness over my soul was a cloud sent by the living God - God is the God over my depression'

'The greatest earthly blessing God can give to any of us is health - with the exception of sickness'

 I fear even putting in those words and thoughts for piously it may sound like I have achieved these same words - and I realize how dreadfully far I fall from fully believing the truth of these words.  But I pray that daily my life could attain some of that kind of depth.  I do fear the darkness and oppression will hit again and the journey will be so long and arduous and painful to again thank God for the thorns that He brings my way.  But for today I can sit in thankfulness realizing God's goodness in the valleys - and remember these words as the times will come again where I will fight to see God's sovereignty as  a means of survival!  Oh we worship an incredible God!!

On Men, Bangladesh & Passion!

Well as I sit in Starbucks, starting to collect my post trip thoughts, I'm realizing that one week ago I was sitting in northern Bangladesh,  sharing the story of Joseph amidst a group of pastors.  On a sidenote, as I write this I'm carrying on a conversation with a member of the 1989 Grey Cup Champion, Roughriders, talking about India, Bangladesh and the purpose of my visit there.  Follows a good sabbatical theme - simply seeing what God has in store for me, each moment of each day.  Not sure that I can collect all my thoughts together in one entry (you'd quit reading long before it was all done), so over the next number of weeks, maybe months, I'll simply jot down thoughts and reflections as they come to my mind.

Just over a month ago, I attended the Desiring God Pastors conference, and if you have read previous blog entries you know that I reflected upon the state of males in the culture and church today, with the thought of being men who would give our lives to something of eternal significance!  It was at the pastors conference, I was faced with the reality (both from christian & secular writers) that men are beginning to disengage from life, marriage, family, leadership, church, education etc.  In so many ways, men are checking out and it's having an impact on our culture, our families, our churches.  I find I fight that battle myself.  On one hand wanting to be a man that fights for my family, fights for the church, takes those wounds and scars for the sake of the gospel - thus finding pastoring and fatherhood so inspiring.  On the other hand, realizing how easy it would be to entertain the idea of checking out and shirking the responsibility that God has laid on me (perhaps more thoughts will arise on that very battle that ensues!!)

One of the alarming stats I was confronted with (though not a new one, but simply hoping it could not really be true) is that 50% of men between the ages of 18-34 play 3 hours of video games a day.  From what I understand in some denominations, is that churches are having a difficult time finding pastors, as young men are not entering the ministry, and many are avoiding leadership within the church.  I find myself, based upon some reflecting from the conference, asking is this due to the nature of our churches?  Are we possibly targeting the wrong crowd, the wrong demographic?  Could it be that some of the programs and the ministries that we believe are so vital to a healthy church, are missing the mark slightly?  Could this be why some of our young men are dropping out of church, not taking on the mantle of leadership within our churches, finding something else to pursue when they hit the ages of 21-22?  Are they looking for something worth battling for and fighting for, and trying to find it our midst, but struggling to do so? 
I raise these questions because they have been plaguing me since I heard some of the words and alarming realities in Minneapolis.  Then last week as I sat in Bangladesh, with many very young men, who are entering into tough fields of ministry I asked myself - why are they willing to do this?  Some of these guys are going to live in places that have no Christian witness, no church, no biblical fellowship period.  And they are moving there for the purpose of seeing God's church grow as they seek to share the gospel.  For some of these young men it will come with some opposition, perhaps violence (I sat by the memorial of a young man martyred for sharing his faith).  They know it may be sometime before they have regular fellowship as they seek to see the church planted and grow.  Yet they are doing this with an incredible joy and the delight and warmth in their spirits is so encouraging, and I felt a shame over my attitude and approach to ministry and life at times.

Found myself asking as I spent time in the presence of these young men, after hearing these words in Minneapolis - could it be that they have found a far more inspiring challenge than achieving a certian level in a game?  They have entered into a real life battle that will require their all, may take their life or much of their comfort, and they've entered it with a zealousness that spoke and deeply challenged me.




On a sidenote, next time we think we are hard done by in life in some way, or that we need more books, or our schools should be better equipped.  The above picture is the library of a seminary that I visited in India!

From high above the Atlantic

Well the technology that is here that was not available the last time I traveled to India and Bangladesh.  Though I wrote the last 2 posts at different times, I just finally got them posted on the blog - from a jet above the Atlantic heading from Frankfurt to Toronto, where I could finally get some internet connection!  Not much to add on this blog - what does one say sitting in a jet staring at the seat in front of you, other than as I sit here in my little space, with my computer shoved into my stomach and chest while I'm hunched over it trying to type this - I sure am glad I'm not 6'5"!!

The End of the Road!

Well here I sit in the Kolkata airport awaiting a flight in the middle of the night that will take me to Frankfurt and onwards to Winnipeg.  Oh Kolkata, the City of Joy!  I’m not sure there is a more fascinating city on the face of the planet, as I find myself marveling at the streets on every corner I turn down, struggling to understand how does one explain this city to those who have never been there.

And I don’t know how to begin to explain the myriad of emotions that have accompanied my trip back to this fascinating land.  And as I write this I think I must be quite tired as it’s been quite an intense, hectic few weeks.  I say tired because as I boarded the plane in Dhaka this afternoon, before we were even off the ground, from a few rows back came some of the loudest, intense snoring I had heard in a long time.  It just went on and on and I just couldn’t stop laughing.  The poor stewardess was trying to give the safety routine before takeoff and she was fighting back a laugh as she was shouting over the sounds of snoring.  And I just couldn’t stop laughing – so yes I was thinking, man I must be tired.  Sure hope the guys not on my overnight flight to Frankfurt!

But yes the emotions – what I have all encountered in the last few weeks – how do I capture it in a few short thoughts?  I have sat with the persecuted church (the very ones we read about in The Voice of the Martyrs), I’ve sat in villages where the name of Jesus has never been heard, I’ve shared with individuals who are so new to the faith from such different backgrounds, that they know virtually nothing of Scripture and who Jesus is.  I have received incredibly humbling hospitality.  I have stared at a memorial to a young man martyred for proclaiming the gospel, I have seen absolute joy and delight shine from the eyes of those who the world would say have nothing, but who have been chosen to proclaim the wisdom the world sees as foolishness.  And in spite of some intense opposition are doing so with a joy that is so beautiful and refreshing.  I have sat with those who have such a passion for the gospel and the lost that I have felt rather weak in my own proclamation of truth.  I have shared close fellowship with these individuals realizing a fresh the beauty of the body of Christ – those from every tongue, tribe, language and nation – made as one through the cross.

 

I have walked some of the most fascinating streets on God’s planet, eaten some of the tastiest food on the planet, walked and driven amongst  some of the most wonderful creation.  Time and time again as I’ve just taken in the sights, sounds and smell of the city streets here, I have reflected on how quiet and uneventful Winnipeg and my own street will appear upon returning.  

God has been kind enough to take me to places that were so special to me 22 years ago.  This week I was in northern Bangladesh – very close to an area that 26 years ago I walked through the rice fields with my backpack on my way out of Bangladesh headed for India.  He has taken me to the Howrah train station  and across the Howrah bridge – a bridge I walked across with such fondness 26 years ago (the place of City of Joy for those of you familiar with that book).  Simply walking through the streets of Kolkata again, sipping a cold Limca (a local soft drink) from one of the little street vendors has been a delight, as was the evening we stopped outside at an outdoor truck stop drinking chai and indulging in the local deep fried snacks, taking in the warmth of the evening.

 

God has been kind enough to bring me back and allow me to meet some of the church in the very countries that played such a huge role in my own discipleship.  All of this reminding me that God has been so faithful over the past 26 years.  It was here that He encountered me and revealed His truth to me so clearly – and in His kindness He brought me back – reminding me that God is so faithful and has proved that over and over again in all those years.

Seems I could probably write for a long time on some of these thoughts but I wish to not bore you, plus a plane to Frankfurt is waiting.  But if you are interested do stay tuned, as I’m sure many more thoughts will continue to emerge as I come back to Winnipeg and carry on my journal – probably from a Starbucks.  That is one thing I sure do look forward to – a huge cup of that good, bold coffee!!        

On Drivers & Bangladesh!

As a young man, maybe a bit brash and ignorant, I remember driving the roads of India and Bangladesh thinking – is there any rhyme or reason to how they drive – and the driving here is out of control.  As a much wiser man now, after driving in these countries for the past few weeks, I am marveling at how well these guys drive.  I have been driven around by a couple of guys that has had me in awe of their driving abilities.  It is no small feat to maneuver a vehicle through these streets with the endless amount of: vehicles, rickshaws (200,000-300,000 in Dhaka alone), bicycles and motorcycles, cows, goats, dogs, people (1.2 billion in India & 165 million in Bangladesh) and not have an accident.  Not sure I will ever be able to explain what it is like to be on these roads amidst this kind of traffic and crowds, but yesterday I was struck by a thought.  I know that driving in severe snowstorms can be a bit intense, but I’m not sure it matches the intensity needed to navigate these roads on a regular basis.

 What an absolute joy it has been to spend the last number of days in the beautiful countryside of northern Bangladesh.  Walking amongst the green of the rice fields, the crops of corn, banana plantations, mango trees all while having buses fly by me that are not only full on the inside, but have the rooftop packed as well (oh that brings back memories of many such a ride I enjoyed as a young man in this part of the world!). 

Have been so blessed by the kindness of God this past week.  I was given the opportunity to spend 3 days with some of the most joyful, delightful people I’ve had the chance to encounter.  To be invited into their presence and so welcomed was a warmth to my heart.  We enjoyed rich times of worship together (they even had me up front dancing with the music team), we laughed with each other a lot (some of it at my own expense!).  The other day I was a part of some Bengali skit, speaking Bangla (which I know nothing about) dancing in front of a strange woman!!  I’ve had encouraging conversations hearing about the work of Jesus Christ, and I’ve been so reminded of the unifying work of Jesus Christ on the cross.  As we enjoyed communion together the other day, I was so struck and overwhelmed as I sat in this church’s presence, how we were one – though different color, speaking a different language, living in different parts of the world – the cross of Jesus Christ makes us brothers and sisters – truly speaking to the power of the gospel because only the cross can complete that work!!

Well the clock is ticking down on my time here, bringing about my return to Canada.  And I write that with a mixture of emotions.  My family knows how I long to be in their presence once again (it has been such a blessing to speak to them as often as I have, and Sunday night will be the sweetest reunion I will have ever experienced).  But along with so badly wanting to see my family, because of the wonderful hospitality I’ve experienced here, and the warmth of relationships in such a short time, it feels somewhat like I’m saying goodbye to friends – another testimony to the power of the gospel!!

Travelling to new lands!!

As the call to prayer bellows out over the city of Dhaka it’s a reminder to me that I have left India and touched down in Bangladesh.  That along with the fact that as my host was telling me about a certain town today I asked him how big that town might be?  His response was ‘oh maybe 2 million people’!  That’s when you know you are in a land of 165,000 million people in the area of perhaps 1/3 the size of Manitoba.  Wouldn’t Toronto with its 2-3 million people like to be called a ‘town’!

Numerous thoughts have struck me these last few days as I have visited this wonderful country.  In a conversation on my first day I was here, I found myself wondering how the history of India, Bangladesh and Pakistan ties into the current state of mission in this country? The history of India is a fascinating story.  Of course in 1947 the British left and India gained its independence, along with Pakistan and East Pakistan (which later became Bangladesh) after a brutal civil war in 1971.  But it was not an easy transition.  Though India longed for independence, they struggled at first to govern this great nation, and as a result for a short time, asked the British to help rule even though India and Pakistan were now independent countries.  And so the struggle began – trying to end colonialism, while having India realize they were capable of governing their own country.  And though it was a transition, today India is a strong nation and as I hear about some of the things coming out of this land, they are leading the way in aspects of technology.  I think this history has impacted mission here in Bangladesh.

For years beginning with William Carey the west brought the gospel to a land that didn’t have a gospel witness and thus needed the West to be the pioneers in mission.  Today I sit here, having the opportunity to visit a thriving, Bangladesh church, and I have spent the last few days on some lovely walks through the countryside with these leaders, having been given the opportunity to worship in their midst.  And yet in some ways the struggle is probably still there.  The West still thinking it must bring the mission and gospel to this land, while this church partnering with the West while being free to lead and operate the mission as they see God calling them too, because they are the ones so very capable of doing so.  And way beyond capable they are the ones most suited to bring the gospel to the cities and villages of Bangladesh.  Being among these people, and having been given the opportunity to worship together with leaders in this church just continues to raise for me the questions of what is the Western role in mission today, and how do we best partner with this strong Asian church?

 

As I strolled through the fields of Bangladesh yesterday, came upon a memorial to a young man who was martyred for his faith - beaten to death in the fields while proclaiming the name of Jesus. Became even more sobering when this young man's Mom came and stood by me telling me she was the mother of this man who gave his life for the gospel.  Found myself quietly trying to take in the scope of what I was experiencing.  A moment when I feel weakened in my proclamation of the gospel and yet built up at the same time to boldly proclaim the gospel of Christ no matter the cost - the very thing this young man did!!